gregorsf (gregorsf) wrote,
gregorsf
gregorsf

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This next nasty message is brought to you by SPRINT

After owenthomas and my sister Jen-Jen forced me to get a cell phone, my life is nothing but hell. So anyhoo, I ended up with a Samsung model which is annoying. I delete stuff all the time because my fingers are too fat to manoeuver the buttons but that's not the real problem. The problem Ladies and Germs is that my phone rings. It rings.

Yes, you may think that's what a cell phone is supposed to do and you are right...well partially right.

But the problem is that it rings during inappropriate times and, pay attention now , with the VIBRATOR FUNCTION ON.

It rings at work when I am having a meeting. It rings during conferences and high-powered, high falutin' people look down on yours truly. It rings at 3AM.

Of course, owenthomas thinks I am going mad. I think I am going mad. owenthomas thinks I don't know what I am talking about and that I just keep turning on the ringer.

He says I am blowing everything out of proportion.

Oh, this is my marriage ladies and gentleman. God forbid, that owenthomas believes that his sacred and hallowed arena of technology could have anything wrong with it. God Forbid.

So I go to the Sprint store on Market here in Frisco (please no comments about Frisco, I'll say what I want. Thank you very much)

I walk in tell the shopgirl what is going on and she tries to fix it. She gets me a new phone and I think the problem is ended.

Oh no!

I attend this conference in LA and right when you could hear a pin drop, my phone wails some idiotic tune. (i think it's called Fuer Else)

When I say wail I mean a loud wailing. At first, I think it couldn't be my phone because my phone is on Vibrate. Everyone stares at me. I pull out my phone but change from my pocket flings all over the place and I can't get it to stop. Some wretched Barbie lookin' bitch asks me in a terse voice to turn it off. I finally hit the right button. You think with my fat fingers I could have done this sooner, eh?

The next day it does the same thing but plays another fascinating Tango-ish tune at screechingly high decibels. I get the look that I always give people who have fantastically stupid melodic aural nightmares of rings.

I finally get home finally to SanFran and go about my business of living.

The next day I am in the office on a WebEx demo when the damn phone goes off, It's across the office and I can't reach it. I bang my knee really hard against the lousy corporate furniture made by idiotic people with obviously no knees. During this fiasco, I thought I had hit the Mute button but no some clients have to hear me say the ef-word- spoken not as loud as my phone rings but audible enough.

I know I am trouble.

I march down to Sprint. Of course, no one believes me. No one. I have suddenly lost my street cred and I am an imbecile in the eyes of the oh-so pleasant people at Sprint. Just another wack job coming into their store.

Some guy looks at it. I know down deep in his heart or hearts that he doesn't believe me. He says he switched something so I leave.

50 minutes later, the phone howls again and in the lovely Beethovenesque tone I have grown to love.

I march down to Sprint. Phone and chord in hand ready to kill. As owenthomas says I am on the warpath.

I throw it down on the counter in front of the manager who listens to my story and then tells me to calm down. He does numerous tests of calling and texting but of course it just vibrates. He also thinks I am a wack job. I can feel it and I am getting pissier. owenthomas calls and I remind him he is in charge of technology and trash and he should be here handling this dolt of a manager.

He soon marches down and retells my story politely. Being proactive, he suggests that maybe the manager could call Tech support and see if there is a problem.

Here's the part I love....well according to the tech support, this model of phone does indeed have a problem with ringing when it wants to. And yes, they have had numerous complaints about this Samsung model.

Do I get an apology? Do I get we'll fix it right away. Oh no, my friends I get a coldish, nasty glare from Dolt the Sprint Store Manager.

What will I get but a "factory reconditioned" read used cell phone. Another model.

I blame this, among other things, on my Sister and owenthomas
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